Badger Learns to Swim

By Justine C. Tajonera

Miraculously I watched my son swimming. My mouth was agape and I was speechless for about two minutes. This was all thanks to my husband.

It started with a near accident. Now that we've relocated to a condo with access to an indoor pool, we've been taking daily dips. On one occasion I was happily floating and didn't notice that my husband was doing a lap, leaving Badger standing at the edge of the pool. Vier later explained that he was confident Badger wouldn't do anything on his own because he knew how deep the water was. Contrary to this assumption, Badger thought I would catch him and jumped into the pool. Vier noticed this but he was at the other end of the pool. He never swam faster!

This was when he noticed that Badger didn't go under. He was kicking and flailing his arms for dear life, managing to keep his head above the water until Vier rushed to his rescue. Vier decided that Badger was ready to swim.

The next time we went swimming, Vier told Badger to swim to mommy. I was skeptical. But swim he did. He was able to cross three feet to me! I was amazed. He was crying by the time he reached me but he did it all on his own. I scolded Vier for possibly traumatizing him but Vier insisted that, with time, Badger would get used to it without all my "babying."

We've modified the activity by having him bring his toys (around 5 to 6 interlocking blocks) to the pool. I let the toys float a little farther away from him and he's motivated to swim and "rescue" his toys. It's absolutely amazing! It's like watching him take his first steps. He has good form: kicking feet, scooping arms (to get him to his destination). Not a breast stroke yet but on the way! He wasn't just dog paddling in place. He was swimming! And once he assembled his toys, he lost no time in getting absorbed in his imaginative play: transformers at sea or speed boats racing.

I guess when he gets older my joke to him will be: You learned to swim before you learned to go to the toilet! Haha! An athlete in the making.

Next challenge? Potty training!

(Dec. 28, 2009)


Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianauer/2599299352/

Getting Badger To Brush His Teeth: The Art Of Diversion

By Justine C. Tajonera

Vier and I bought this audio book, Talking To Toddlers, and we learned a lot from it but I had some difficulty putting it into practice, at first, because I was so used to dealing with Badger in a fixed sort of way. However, one night, one of the lessons on diversion really kicked in.

The Dreaded Temper Tantrum
Badger and I had our usual fight over brushing his teeth. I was pretty tense because Vier is usually the one who brushes Badger's teeth. However, that night, it was up to me. I tried cajoling him. I tried giving him options (do you want to brush with your yellow toothbrush or your Ironman toothbrush?), I tried getting mad but nothing worked. He ended up screaming at the top of his lungs (with the vein on his neck popping out). I was about to give up. He was already crying, which I really hate because I start getting soft on him when I see those big tears rolling down his cheeks.

Mommy's Best Actress Skills
And then the idea hit me. Why not use the lesson on diversion? In the audio lesson, it was explained that sometimes logic really won't work with young kids. So, the best thing you can do is divert them so that they don't focus on what they don't like. So, with all my "best actress" skills I exclaimed: "Oh my goodness! Badger! Are those ants in your mouth?" He stopped crying and looked positively shocked. He's scared of cockroaches. And now, ants, after one of them bit him."I think I see ants!" I went on. "Open your mouth wide so that Mommy can check." Immediately, he opened his mouth for inspection. "Ay naku," I said, shaking my head, "looks like there are cockroaches and ants in there.Tsk tsk! We have to take them out."


Finally, Cooperation
By this time, Badger was getting cooperative. "Take out ants," he demanded. "Okay, Mommy needs to brush your teeth to get the ants out, okay?" He nodded and opened his mouth wide. And that was the end of my ordeal. I made a big deal about how we were getting rid of all the ants in his mouth and he was happy to have them out of his mouth. In a way, brushing his teeth really is a way of getting rid of "bugs" and cavity-building plaque from his mouth. So, not only did he get to brush his teeth, we had fun doing it.

The Art Of Diversion In The Grocery
The art of diversion is fascinating. One other miraculous way it helped was when Badger had a temper tantrum in the grocery (the thing that parents absolutely hate). This time, it was Vier who took the lead. Badger insisted on getting a ball from the toy section and we really didn't have time for it. So, Badger started bawling and pulling us back towards the toy section. Vier then asked him, "Do you like that ball?" When Badger said yes, Vier kept asking him to describe the ball (like what color was it?, etc.) and engaged him in a conversation about the ball. By the time we were in another section of the grocery, they were busy exclaiming over blue colored cans (because Badger likes the color blue) and we were off the topic of the ball already. Thank goodness!

(Dec. 16, 2009)

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/aliedwards/522650932/

Badger's Ta-dah! and The Amazing Feat Of Self-Praise

By Justine C. Tajonera

I was so surprised to hear Badger exclaim, "ta-dah!" by himself, one day. Upon further investigation, I found out that he had lined up his cars neatly and had counted them successfully up to six. So it went like: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Ta-dah!" It was such a cute moment and so heartwarming to see him so proud of his own accomplishment.

Because of this behavior, I became interested in self-praise. I got to read an article by Michael Grose, a parenting educator and parent coach, on the impact of praise and found out that praise can be really great for a child's self-esteem. But, given all the hype about the wrong kind of praise, I was careful about what I read online. Looks like the article was spot-on, with emphasis on giving descriptive (or specific) praise, summary (or label) praise and encouraging self-praise.

Another article by Robert Hughes, Jr.,talks about how self-praise is very different from bragging. Bragging puts other kids or play mates down while self-praise is very specific to one's own behavior and how it has improved. It's one way your child can acknowledge that he is proud of himself (at no one's expense). 

Self-praise doesn't happen in a vacuum. Kids learn to praise themselves because their parents are also very encouraging. I'm happy that Badger is starting early.

(Dec. 14, 2009)

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/85278812@N00/3232401919

Free Play And My Transportation Obsessed Son

by Justine C. Tajonera

My son absolutely adores cars. He lines up his dad's Ferrari cars on the floor every night and counts them. Whenever he's riding the car with us he identifies all kinds of transportation on the road: car! motorcycle (pronounced motowsayel)! truck! taxi!

Once, while he was playing with his cars, he "borrowed" my USB with a wire and used it to put gas into each car. How ingenious was that?

Recently, I taught him that the traffic lights mean something: green means go and red means stop. So, every time we are at a stop light, our irrepressible son screams: GREEN MEANS GO! or RED MEANS STOP! It's hilarious!

It's amazing how our kids really have minds of their own. I really don't have any particular fascination for cars: they're pretty utilitarian for me. Vier likes cars but not really that much. A strange confluence of events (Vier's recent collection of Ferraris due to the Shell promo and our recent decision to acquire a motorcycle (to save gas) resulted in our son being obsessed over all kinds of transportation.

I've learned that feeding my son's natural passions makes him more animated and happy. He can just keep playing with his blocks and mounting them in his toy tractor for a long time. I don't "force" him to do what I want anymore. I wait for his cues and engage him in conversations about what he loves.

Image from http://www.public-domain-photos.com/free-cliparts/signs_and_symbols/other/traffic_light_green_dan__01-7254.htm