by Justine Camacho-Tajonera
It's been a while since I've written on this blog. But today, I have something to celebrate. I caught my eldest son, Badger, doing an act of kindness for his sister without being prompted last Sunday. Clea has new shoes and they require socks, you see. She was excited to put them on. I noticed that she was going around with her socks in her hands while everyone else was busy preparing to go on our swimming trip to Mamplasan, Laguna. Then, I saw Badger approach Clea. He asked her to sit down on the floor and he started putting her feet into her socks. When yaya noticed that they were having a bit of a problem, she told him to transfer Clea to a bench so he could have an easier time with putting on her socks and shoes. They transferred. Both of them were very quiet while this was going on. It was a wonderful moment for me. I snapped a photo right away.
Parenting can be so bewildering sometimes. I don't know if I'm doing it right most of the time. When I say, "Don't..." I catch myself and beat myself up over being negative. When I comfort my kids when they're crying I wonder if I'm babying them or just being a mom.
But last Sunday, I was fully aware that I was getting a glimpse of how parents feel when they see their kids do something good. I didn't say anything. I didn't ask him to do it. And yet, there he was helping his sister. My cup runneth over! I was overjoyed.
After he finished helping Clea, I called Badger over. "Badger, I just want to acknowledge what you did for your sister. No one asked you to do it. But you did it, anyway. That's being a kuya. I'm very proud of you." He smiled shyly and I hugged him and kissed him.
I recalled all the times that I would ask him to do things or not do things at the top of my voice. I recalled all the times I talked about obedience. These acts of kindness are blessings. They come unbidden but I know it is the fruit of kindness as well. Every time I am harsh and unthinking, I diminish that kindness. Every time I do what is more difficult: being firm without raising my voice, I know those are avenues for my kids to learn from me.
And now...I know that I have one more way of reinforcing great behavior in my kids: that's the task of catching them do something good. More often, I catch them doing something they're not supposed to do. That's where all the noes come from. But I know now that it's more important to catch them doing something great, like being of service to others or saying a kind word to another kid.
I say "catch" because those moments can be so fleeting. Don't wait another second. Kids grow up so fast. Catch it, acknowledge it and treasure it.
