A Science Adventure: Giving My Son The Lead In Learning

I am super excited to share what we did at home for our Science subject. Just a bit of background: my husband and I are homeschooling our son. We started when he was in pre-school, stopped temporarily when he was in kindergarten, and then resumed again for Prep and now, Grade One. So far, I am loving the results: a curious boy who loves to move (gymnastics, fencing), solves problems (math) and plays music (violin) and prays with me every night (well, almost every night).

I just recently read a reassuring free ebook from SimpleHomeschool.net (or Jamie C. Martin. Just visit her site and you'll see a link to her free ebook) which includes an entry on the bare minimum for homeschooling: some math and a whole lot of reading. And not only that, she made me see that having my kids take the lead in terms of the curriculum is a great thing. We don't have to stick to a fixed schedule for him to learn...and love learning. The latter part is really important to me.

So, that made me relax. :-)

Amusement Park Physics

We are working on a long-term project right now for Science. He's building an amusement park on Minecraft (Pocket Edition) and he promises me that he'll make a map of it. He already has the tickets ready. I'm really excited to see his park. Anyway, just sharing the site that we used to research amusement parks and the simple physics behind the rides: http://www.learner.org/interactives/parkphysics/. It's absolutely awesome and it has some interactive pages where the learner gets to design his or her own roller coaster. This came about after a trip to Enchanted Kingdom.

Do-It-Yourself Labs

In the meantime, we were playing with a new free app that we downloaded called Piig Labs (we use AppsGoneFree to find out what apps are free every day). The volcano project was presented using a virtual environment. Badger was really excited to do it in real life. I was really happy to see him excited!

So, we did a bit of research. I didn't know that it was really easy to research! We did it before when we made a whirlpool from scratch (just two bottles and some electric tape). He loved repeating the experiment to get the same results.

So, here's the link where we got the volcano experiment: http://video.about.com/chemistry/Erupting-Volcano.htm. It's really easy to follow. Plus, the basics are: a plastic bottle, some newspapers (ideally, you should use clay or dough), baking soda, dishwashing liquid, and vinegar. That's it!

We had so much fun! Badger wanted to do it again. The enthusiasm that I see in his face when he learns about something that he is curious about is really fantastic.

I look forward to more adventures. And this time, I want him to continuously take the lead.

My Son Sings "Let It Go"

Elsa belting it out

Yes, my son sings "Let It Go" from the movie Frozen at the top of his voice. He's had a moment where he sings, "A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen...heehee...king." He's tried the "boy version" but most of the time he lapses into the queen part and "be the good girl you always have to be." And you know what? It doesn't bother me at all. I just let him be.

There was a time that well-meaning friends would comment about him playing with his sister's Barbie dolls. "Hinuhubaran naman niya at hindi binibihisan?" (He takes off their clothes and he doesn't put them on, right?). Hmmmm. So, a male's role is to undress a female? Pretty narrow, right? But I let him be. He likes role playing too and turning everything into a gun or weapons or stuff that blasts into the air. I am assured that he's very male because of this tendency. The thing is, it bothers me because I don't like the idea of war and violence. But I let him be. He doesn't really know yet the concept of war and the pain of war and violence. To him it's a game. It's an adventure. It has nothing to do yet about death and pain. But there will be a time when we will talk about it. I still have to think through this whole gender thing. I'd rather he sing "Let It Go" than pretend that everything is a gun. But I let him be.

Just last year there was a whole to-do in the news about "discouraging early tendencies of homesexuality" in a parenting article. The thing is...with all that I've learned so far about homesexuality (you're born with it...it's not a choice you make) and my own good friends who are homosexual...I don't have a problem with it at all. I don't care. I love my son. Just the way he is. And I love learning more and more about him and his complex mind. There's more to him than his sexual orientation. He is a wonderful human being.

So, after a bout of singing, I did an interview.

Me: Why do you like "Let It Go?"
B: I like shouting the song.
Me: What do you mean by "shouting the song?"
B: I'm happy when I sing it.
Me: Oh. How do you think Elsa feels when she's singing it?
B: She's happy because she's free. She can make her own castle. She can even make her own bodyguard!
Me: Is that how you feel when you sing the song?
B: Yes! That's how I feel.
Me: Why does it have to be loud?
B: Because that's how it is.
Me: What do you mean by that?
B: Because it makes me feel that I'm singing to God.
Me: So, singing to God has to be loud?
B: Sometimes I sing it medium. And the rest, I sing it loud, with a strong heart.

I really do learn a lot from my son. And I love this particular Disney movie. There's a whole other article that talks about the merits of this animated film, especially for daughters. But you know what? It was great for my son. It has bent the gender stereotype. For my son, Elsa is a hero...regardless of whether she's a girl or a boy. She's free. And that's something that he sees is worth being. Free and happy. Having a strong heart is not a gender territory. It's for everyone. That's just amazing! We're not even talking about true love yet...true love being defined as a selfless act for another.

He loves the song so much that he wants to learn the song on violin (violin lessons was one of the things he asked for...totally not forced on him). I'm glad we homeschool him. Imagine how other boys would treat him in an all-boy's school if he suddenly belted out "Let It Go?" Maybe he wouldn't even dream of singing it aloud. I love my son's heart and how he sees the world. I wish I could be more like him. :-)

Tundra Swans and Initiative: Character Lesson With Badger

by Justine C. Tajonera

Badger and our family project: tundra swans V formation

Today, I'm so grateful that we got some "Character First" booklets that were sold by TMA (The Master's Academy) because it makes teaching character so much easier.

Badger loves projects more than writing or reading exercises, though he does the latter. He loves working with his hands and he loves working with me and V. The character we studied today was Initiative. In this series of booklets, each character is associated with an animal. The animal that represents initiative is the tundra swan. Check out the link to learn more about it. Initiative is characterized by the following (not in any particular order):

• Do what is right without being told
• Contribute to the team (team could also mean family)
• Be part of the solution and not the problem
• Look for ways to help
• Don't put off for tomorrow what can be done today

Tundra swans fly in a "V" formation to reduce the drag (love how this term referes to aerodynamics, one of Badger's favorite topics!) for the whole flock of birds, helping them fly faster. Also, when the lead bird gets tired, another bird takes its place, naturally! You gotta love the initiative of these birds. 

Badger loved cutting the paper and the slots on the board. I took care of the birds and V took care of putting the formation in place. 

While we had some difficulties, especially with writing down the five keys of initiative (the bulleted list above), Badger loved the hands-on process of getting to know how tundra swans showed initiative. 

Prepositions With Piggy For Our Preschooler

by Justine C. Tajonera

If her Yaya were to judge, she'd say I was playing favorites by always talking about Badger. So, this time, I'll talk about Clea. We're not formally homeschooling her yet because both Vier and I believe that preschool is all about play. We're not at all worried because at two years and six months she's already speaking in sentences. When Badger was her age, he was just babbling without making any sense. We enrolled him in occupational therapy and later on speech therapy but apparently, we didn't have to worry because he was just a late bloomer (and now we can't stop him for talking and talking and talking...). Clea talked early and I love that she shows great interest in books. 

Prepositions With Piggy

Now, given all of that, it's still fun to make up some games for Clea because she's so cooperative. So, we had a fun session that revolved around prepositions. We have these little monoblock chairs and they sparked an idea for me. I put the blue one on a low table and I grabbed one of her favorite stuffed toys, a little pink pig. "Clea, can you do something for me?" She nods excitedly. "Can you put piggy under the chair?" She excitedly gets piggy and puts her under the chair. We do this for "on top" and "beside." She got a little confused with "beside" but she quickly picked it up. "On the right side" and "on the left side" also needed some repetition. But all in all, a lot of high fives were going around. 

Counting Candies

At the end of our prepositions with piggy, we had a round of counting candy. I put a small dish on the table and we did a modified counting Jelly Belly beans but this time we used Gingerbon candies. I asked her to put one, two, three, four or five candies in the dish and found out that Clea can understand the concept of up to two but needs prompting for three, four and five. It's either one, two, or all for her. Very interesting. Not rushing her but it's good to know where she's at. The best part? A candy treat after breakfast. She could actually take the spiciness! 

Having fun and discovering something new is not as easy as it looks. However, it's the most natural way for kids to actually learn. So, I'm glad to get some playtime with Clea and I'm so blessed to have such a sweet daughter. But don't let the sweetness fool you. Between Badger and Clea, it's Clea who's the bossy one. Haha! She loves giving orders to other people, even to an imaginary audience. It's also been fun discovering Clea and all her interests (ranging from fashionista issues--she does multiple outfit changes in a day--and keeping the Yakult away from her (she's addicted) and Hello Kitty (her current favorite character)...and cleaning up after her pencil masterpieces directly drawn on the floor. I'm looking forward to more adventures with her. 

Creatively Centering A Homeschool Lesson Around Badger's Interest in Dreadnoughts

by Justine C. Tajonera

This morning started with a mini-fight. I wanted Badger to continue progress on his Filipino workbook (Ang Diyos at Ako) but he just refused to do it. This is a familiar scene. I say something, he wants something else. I cite "obedience" and he breaks down and cries. At this point, I think I'm a failure as a teacher and I think about the coming start of the school year with dread.

But all was not lost. After taking a deep (deep, deep, deep) breath, I ask him, "Okay, so what do you want to do?" Still sniffling, he says, "I want to draw a battleship." Here we go again. I know he loves battleships. It's just that...I was running out of ways to incorporate battleships into our lessons. But that's not Badger's problem...it's actually mine as his parent and teacher.

Planning Around a Dreadnought

So, I wrapped my head around what we wanted to tackle for the day: tiyak na pangngalan or proper nouns. Since we were going to deal with battleships this morning...I would need to switch to English grammar and tackle proper nouns, instead. "What kind of battleship do you want to draw today? A regular battleship or a dreadnought?" He chose dreadnought. So I did some quick research.

Apparently, dreadnoughts were the dominant type of battleship during the early twentieth century and they figured in World War 1.  They had two distinct features: "big gun" armament or an unprecedented use of heavy-calibre guns and steam turbine propulsion. The first Dreadnought (or HMS Dreadnought of the Royal Navy of Great Britain) in 1906 could be referred to as a proper noun but soon after, the term dreadnought could be used as a common noun because it was used in reference to a type of battleship with the same features, thereafter.

I had fun explaining the parts of the ship to Badger and Badger, in turn, had fun drawing the dreadnought and naming the dominant parts that made this kind of ship a dreadnought. There's also a mistake in the drawing. Instead of a steam engine... we should have called it a steam turbine. Oh well. We can still make another drawing later on. After explaining to him that dreadnought is a common noun and that he had to name the ship with a proper noun...he very patriotically drew a Philippine flag on top of the dreadnought and promptly named it HSS Tajonera. HMS actually stands for His/Her Majesty's Ship while USS stands for United States Ship. Technically, we should have called it BRP (Barka ng Republika ng Pilipinas...ex. BRP Gregorio del Pilar) but ended up with His Supremo's Ship instead (HSS). Hilarious. I have to tell him about the naming conventions of ships later today. I also don't know why he chose the number 91. I'll have to ask him about it.

A Little Bit of Everything

Instead of a frustrating lesson that could have ended in total chaos and tears...we ended up with a fun exploration of dreadnoughts, a little bit of history, a little bit of science, a little bit of nouns and a little bit of drawing (I used what I learned from my Design lessons in the course I'm taking from the University of Pennsylvania via Coursera.org and had Badger do the sketch outline in pencil, then finish it off with a marker...he naturally centered the drawing, something that's also taught in my Design course. Plus points, Badger!).

One of the reasons why I love homeschooling is the lessons I learn as a teacher, a mom and a human being. Instead of pushing my way and bulldozing my son into the lesson I want him to learn...I learn to be creative and spark curiosity in a subject that interests him without necessarily throwing out my goals for the day. So, hooray for dreadnoughts and design and propulsion and proper nouns! They all come together when it concerns a little boy named Badger. At the end of the lesson, he gave me a bonus demonstration of "drag" (in the aerodynamic sense) by dropping a ball of paper and a sheet of paper. "Which one will fall first, Mama?" he asks. "The ball!" I say...and then we talk briefly about the concept of drag before I go off to work. Amazing!

An Update

We just watched Star Trek: Into Darkness and there is a dreadnought ship there called the USS Vengeance. Details here. I can't wait to discuss it with Badger!


   

Bringing Up Our Little Gymnast

by Justine C. Tajonera

Badger with his bronze medal and trophy during the International School Manila Friendship Meet last March 24, 2013.

Apart from homeschooling Badger, we've enrolled him in gymnastics class. We feel that it's a sport that will develop him in all aspects as well as foster self-discipline. Lately, I've been seeing some articles online that made me think twice about Badger's participation in gymnastics. One article talks about stunted growth for developing children. Another article talks about this sport having one of the highest injury rates. It's enough to make a parent worry.

However, last Saturday, I attended a parent orientation from our gymnastics class provider, Club Gymnastica, and I was relieved to see a flyer they gave out that talked about the 10 rules of parenting a gymnast. This is not in the exact wording and order but this is how I remembered it:

1. It should be fun. When gymnastics ceases to be fun for your child, let him stop. 
2. Let your child have his own goals for gymnastics. These are not your goals and your ambitions. Let your child find out for himself what he wants out of it. 
3. Don't coach your child. That's what his coach is there for. Let his coach take care of the coaching. Your job is to love and support your child. 
4. During competitions...your job is to cheer him on. Only have positive things to say. 
5. Don't undermine the judges during competitions. Let them do their jobs. Don't criticize them in front of your child. 
6. Don't expect your child to be an Olympian. Even Olympians say that the best things they got out of the sport were the intangibles like discipline, teamwork, building their self-esteem...not the medals. 
7. Acknowledge your child's fears. Don't pretend that there's nothing to be nervous about. Reassure him. 
8. Just be supportive. Whether your child wins or loses, just be there for him. 
9. Have other goals apart from winning. Winning isn't everything. As they say...it's the journey, not the destination that builds character. 
10. Don't jump from club to club. It's disruptive for your child. Try out one or two and stick with just one. 
~

Here's a link to the ten commandments for parents of gymnasts online. 

I think injury and stunted growth are all effects of overdoing gymnastics training. These are addressed by rule number 1: it should be fun. V and I always ask Badger if he is still having fun. We wouldn't think twice about pulling him out of the class if he didn't want to go anymore. But the thing is...he loves it. He loves cartwheeling and doing back tacks and back hand springs. He loves being able to do new things with his body. He also likes being with the other boys who are in the gymnastics class. They're his good friends. 

Gymnastics can be character-building if the rules above are followed. Overdoing the training can be avoided by not pushing a child beyond his limits. With Badger, I'm not worried. I think it's just a matter of constantly checking in on how he feels about his sport and supporting him with his goals. Yes, he does have goals! Doing better than his last performance is definitely part of it. 

Catching My Kids Reading

It's International Book Week! It's so timely because just recently, I caught my son, Badger, reading my book, Beauty and The Beast. It's no accident. I introduced the book to him. What's so special about it is it was my book from childhood.

You'll still see my childishly written name on the fly leaf!

I read it to him the other night and we pointed out words that were unfamiliar to him like: harbour (explained that it's where ships dock just like what Pearl Harbor was to the battle ships in the movie, Battle Ship), exhausted, beast ("Moomoo?" he asked and I said yes, in a way, but more like an animal, like a tiger or a lion) and many more. It was even more fun because he pointed out that there were badgers in one of the illustrated pages. We laughed over that. I noticed that he has such a compassionate heart because he immediately knew that the beast was crying in the picture. "Why is he crying, Mama?" I notice that Badger loves to comfort people when they are in pain.

I thought that he wouldn't be interested in the book after I read it to him. It just happened to be there at the time and he would go back to his Dr. Seuss books. But no. This morning I saw him look for it and sit down on the floor with it. It was a warm and memorable moment for me. Yes, it was no accident because I introduced the book to him. But it was just really special for me because he looked for it on his own.

There's just really something heartwarming about knowing that the book that I read as a kid is still appreciated by my own son. That he sees the same magic that I saw while flipping through those beautifully illustrated pages.

Reading is something that I want my kids to catch from me. Here's to more of those wonderful, magical moments!

Catching My Kids Doing Something Good

by Justine Camacho-Tajonera

It's been a while since I've written on this blog. But today, I have something to celebrate. I caught my eldest son, Badger, doing an act of kindness for his sister without being prompted last Sunday. Clea has new shoes and they require socks, you see. She was excited to put them on. I noticed that she was going around with her socks in her hands while everyone else was busy preparing to go on our swimming trip to Mamplasan, Laguna. Then, I saw Badger approach Clea. He asked her to sit down on the floor and he started putting her feet into her socks. When yaya noticed that they were having a bit of a problem, she told him to transfer Clea to a bench so he could have an easier time with putting on her socks and shoes. They transferred. Both of them were very quiet while this was going on. It was a wonderful moment for me. I snapped a photo right away.

Parenting can be so bewildering sometimes. I don't know if I'm doing it right most of the time. When I say, "Don't..." I catch myself and beat myself up over being negative. When I comfort my kids when they're crying I wonder if I'm babying them or just being a mom.

But last Sunday, I was fully aware that I was getting a glimpse of how parents feel when they see their kids do something good. I didn't say anything. I didn't ask him to do it. And yet, there he was helping his sister. My cup runneth over! I was overjoyed.

After he finished helping Clea, I called Badger over. "Badger, I just want to acknowledge what you did for your sister. No one asked you to do it. But you did it, anyway. That's being a kuya. I'm very proud of you." He smiled shyly and I hugged him and kissed him.

I recalled all the times that I would ask him to do things or not do things at the top of my voice. I recalled all the times I talked about obedience. These acts of kindness are blessings. They come unbidden but I know it is the fruit of kindness as well. Every time I am harsh and unthinking, I diminish that kindness. Every time I do what is more difficult: being firm without raising my voice, I know those are avenues for my kids to learn from me.

And now...I know that I have one more way of reinforcing great behavior in my kids: that's the task of catching them do something good. More often, I catch them doing something they're not supposed to do. That's where all the noes come from. But I know now that it's more important to catch them doing something great, like being of service to others or saying a kind word to another kid.

I say "catch" because those moments can be so fleeting. Don't wait another second. Kids grow up so fast. Catch it, acknowledge it and treasure it.

Our Hunt for a Play School for Badger

 

by Justine C. Tajonera

Recently, Vier and I decided that it was time to find a play school for Badger. We had done our best with our attempt at home school. However, I really feel that home school needs a mom's touch. While Vier has argued that he is all for unschooling, I still feel that a child's progress needs to be closely monitored and nurtured. If we aren't going to give him the quality time of 3 to 4 hours of learning in a day (not restricted to just the house but outside, in the open, or in a park or learning environment) then we might as well enroll him in a play school.

Lots of Choices

I was surprised that we actually have a lot of choices in our area (Ortigas Center, Pasig City), all of them walking distance from our condo. We reviewed them and they've been a mix of the progressive and traditional (more for the K2 classes) approaches. The great thing is they all offer trial classes so Badger has been having a blast. I didn't expect him to enjoy it so much.

Saying Goodbye Wasn't Hard

During one of the trial classes, we brought him into the classroom and watched him start to warm up to the other kids during their "free play time" session. He was starting to have so much fun that he didn't mind mommy and daddy saying goodbye at all. He just walked up to us and kissed us and said "Bye, Mommy, Bye Daddy!" What a miracle! No separation anxiety, no clinging, no crying. I was actually very proud of him. And while I had a twinge in my heart at saying goodbye, it wasn't so bad because I knew he was enjoying himself so much. Over the weekend, when we passed by one of the schools, he pointed at the building and said, "I want to go to school!" I had to explain to him that it was the weekend and that he could go to school on Monday.

More Verbal Interaction

Ever since he started his trial classes, I've also noticed that he's more verbal in his interactions. He used to refer to himself in the third person all the time but now I hear him say stuff like "I want water" or "I want Fita" more often. Yay! Apart from this, I hear him signify his curiosity too. "Daddy, what is this?" I heard him ask Vier the other night. He kept asking Vier to explain what different things were. It's amazing how quickly he's adapted to school. Because he was home schooled for a while, the teachers have told us that Badger is a bit advanced in some things like the alphabet, identifying letters, words, numbers and colors. However, I think the biggest plus has been his exposure to more and more play mates.

The Matter of Cost and Quality

The only thing that Vier and I have to decide on now is the balance between cost and quality. Badger has equally enjoyed his classes in the two schools that he's attended. We're just waiting for the other school to show us the prorated payments for enrolling Badger halfway through the school year. For me and Vier, it's not about the facilities or even how impressive the curriculum looks but rather the environment of learning and fun. As long as Badger is happy to play and explore, we know that he is definitely learning.

We're looking forward to one more trial period with a third school and then he'll start actual classes by September or October. With a new baby coming by November, hopefully, play school will give Badger a familiar haven outside of the changes at home. It's been an adventure, so far, for the three of us and I'm looking forward to more fun and learning in the coming months.

Why We Love Our Baby Sling or Why We Never Bought a Stroller

by Justine Camacho-Tajonera

When we were still taking our childbirth class, my husband, Vier,  and I got introduced to something called a baby sling. I had my doubts but Vier instantly fell in love with it. We also got introduced to a concept called attachment parenting, a term coined by one of its main proponents, Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha Sears.  We both thoroughly support the movement and we've become advocates of breastfeeding as well, the natural result of attachment parenting.

Why a Sling?

My dad was puzzled over our decision to buy a baby sling. While the version we got was a little pricier than others in the market (it was made from a breathable Guatemalan fabric and supported by two heavy duty stainless steel rings), he couldn't fathom how this sling could possibly take the place of a baby stroller.

At the time, I told my husband that we could always try out the sling first and if we felt that we needed to augment with a baby stroller, we could always add a baby stroller to our endless list of things to buy for our new baby.

Surprise, surprise. Even after six months, we still didn't see the need for a baby stroller. We were still happily using our baby sling. It turns out that we never needed the stroller after all. While I never got to use it fully because of my right-left confusion, Vier was a pro. We would take the sling wherever we went and Vier would proudly wear our son, Badger, in the sling.

Read the rest of the blog at SmartParenting.com.ph. 

Image of Guatemalan baby in sling from Flickr.com/wmacphail.

Remembering my Postpartum Baby Blues

Now that I'm pregnant with my second baby, I know one definite thing that I don't want to have to go through again and that's postpartum baby blues. It was like PMS magnified ten times and completely unstoppable. When I hear of another mom going through postpartum baby blues I really symphathize with her because I went through it myself and it's very hard to accurately describe it unless you've experienced it.

Everything was Going Fine...

After a harrowing 14 hours of labor, going through the Lamaze Method, getting induced contractions, begging for an epidural after 12 hours of labor and then finally going under the knife for an emergency Caesarian section, my childbirth experience was far from a walk in the park. However, despite all the upheaval and first-time apprehensions, I made it through to the end. I remember the magical moment when my OB Gyne introduced me to my newborn son and I whispered his name and cried. I was raring to go. After getting knocked out with the anaesthesia, I woke up looking for my son. I insisted on visiting the nursery despite everyone's attempt to keep me bedridden (and recovering). I wanted to bond with my son as soon as possible and nothing would stop me.

Those first few days in the hospital were wonderful. Even if the pain from my wound was killing me, I just couldn't help staring at my son. I promised him that I would be the best mom ever. Now, that was in the beginning. Then my postpartum blues kicked in...

The Ultimate Drama Queen for a Month and a Half

When I finally got home with my bundle of joy, reality kicked in. Since I never attended breastfeeding class, I was having all sorts of breastfeeding problems (sore, bleeding nipples and anxiety attacks over whether my son was getting enough milk). To top it all off, with my husband's paternity leave all used up,  I was alone at home, recovering from a CS wound. I didn't have a close relative beside me, making sure I was okay. I didn't have a yaya yet (one of those things I knew I should have done before giving birth but just didn't have time to do).

In short, I was a disaster waiting to happen. I started feeling my postpartum blues kick in when I felt bad over my inability to produce my mature breastfeeding milk right away (apparently, this is a side effect of a Caesarian section). And when my milk did come in, I had no idea how to properly latch and position my baby. Given this, I suffered through painful breastfeeding sessions, crying my eyes out and then hating myself for wanting to give up.

Read the rest of my blog at SmartParenting.com.ph.

Image from Flickr.com/roblee.

Beginning All Over Again: A Second Pregnancy

The problem with getting pregnant only when you hit thirty is having a five-year window to get pregnant again without complications. That was why I really wanted to get pregnant last year. However, it wasn't time. This year, I'm finally pregnant again and I'm seeing a lot of differences between my first pregnancy and my second pregnancy.

Pregnancy Changes You Forever, Physically

One of the things that forever changed for me after my first pregnancy was my eyesight. I used to see just fine. However, after I gave birth I needed glasses. My nearsightedness kicked in. I realized that it's the kind of thing that's irreversible. I'll have to live with it and do some maintenance measures but the reality is: my body is very much different from the way it was when I was single.

Given that my eyesight changed drastically after giving birth, I think of what will change after I give birth the second time around. I'm expecting a heavier toll. However, knowing what I know, I think I can better prepare myself as well. I'm trying to eat healthier and taking supplements to make up for my nutrition deficiencies. I'm guarding against possible gestational diabetes as well because diabetes runs in my family.

There's an excellent book that talks about what happens after birth and the toll it takes on your body: Life After Birth by Kate Figes with Jean Zimmerman.  The book gives you a clear picture of what happens after birth not just a fuzzy, warm account of being a mom. It's realistic without being pessimistic.


Read the rest of my blog at SmartParenting.com.ph. 

Image from Flickr.com/mahalie.

Badger, Chess Titans and the Game of Life

by Justine C. Tajonera

Badger just discovered chess! I'm not saying he's excelling in it (or even aware of strategies and mechanics) but what I did observe was how he treated it as any other kind of game that needs to be learned. He engages in it with gusto and fearlessness.

I happened to see him open an application on our desktop. I was used to seeing him play with Purble Place, a staple favorite of his on our computer. But I was surprised to see him open Chess Titans this time. I just sat back and observed him. He immediately started moving his pawns with impunity. He had no regard to the reaction of the black pieces he was playing against. He just wanted to move those pawns!

And this is what really struck me: he had no fear of losing his king. He just kept moving the pieces like they were equal. He would evaluate based on what options each piece had (the computer lit up potential paths each piece could take) and he gave equal opportunity to each piece. What interested him was the action going on (and the counter action).

I couldn't help but squeal whenever any of his major pieces got "eaten." "Badger!," I would exclaim, "watch out for your king! Yan kainin mo yan (there, eat that piece)!" I was the one who got all agitated. I infected him with my enthusiasm because he started asking me if we wanted to eat other pieces ("Kain?" he would ask, pointing to an option lit up on the screen).

I remembered my own history of chess playing. My brother, Gus, and I played the game. He kept beating me at it (he had a strategy book, by the way). But I beat him once. After that, I never played again. I quit while I was ahead!

I realize that sometimes that's how I play life as well. I think I don't have second chances and I keep trying to get it right all the time. Badger inadvertently showed me an exciting game: kings that move boldly and the willingness to always play a new game.

March 23, 2010
Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/84224918@N00/3147507096

How Potty Training Snuck Up On Me

by Justine C. Tajonera

I was getting worried about Badger getting potty trained. We tried different methods:

• Not putting his diapers on
• Getting him used to the toilet (letting him flush the toilet, letting him get familiar with peeing and pooping in the toilet)
• Letting him use lampin diapers so he realizes that he's wet

All to no avail.We had several disastrous accidents involving pee and poop. I threw in the towel and we went back to disposable diapers.

Then one magical day (just a week ago), Badger tells me, "Mommy, wee wee!" And this time, he wasn't referring to pee on the floor. He actually looked uncomfortable holding it in. And he was in diapers! So, we both hurried to the toilet and he peed into the toilet. He did this several times in the day.

All About Patience
I was completely amazed. Just when I stopped trying, he picked it up. When they say, "wait until your child is ready," I didn't completely trust the statement. I mean, how is he supposed to learn how to go to the potty if you don't teach him, right? But what I didn't get was the very gradual process. All your efforts don't go to waste but it takes a while and it takes some getting used to.

I guess what I learned here was to let go of the stress but not to let go of the opportunities to keep teaching him and guiding him. It's all about patience!

(Feb. 11, 2010)
Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/46511298@N00/2169714873

Badger Loves Jazz: Reading (and Listening) to Duck Ellington and Ella Elephant

By Justine C. Tajonera

I had a lot of fun last night, playing the CDs of Ella Elephant Scats Like That and Duck Ellington Swings through the Zoo and reading the books to Badger. They were great learning tools, just like Charlie Bird Counts to the Beat, and a great way to help Badger learn how to read.

The Ella Elephant book was cute because I could lead Badger through some nonsense words and just focus on the sounds that they made. I pointed out the letters and their sounds and how it would all sound if we put them together (sound recognition). Plus, Badger got to listen to Ella Elephant make the scat sounds and relate them to musical instruments.

Duck Ellington was also really cute because I realized that Badger recognized some of the animals from Charlie Bird Counts to the Beat like the turtles and the seals! And Vier and I just enjoyed the swing sound.

I guess it made an impression with Badge because before I left for work, he wanted me to read Ella Elephant to him first. I hope Badger will have a genuine love for reading books.

(Jan. 13, 2010)

Badger Makes Animal Sounds

Watch this video first.




By Justine C. Tajonera



We really love playing this game with Badger: what sound does this animal make? It engages him in learning what animal is what (based on their images), what sounds they make, what nursery rhymes have these animals and what the first letter of the animal word is.

It's a lot of fun and it's a great way of teaching him and figuring out how he interprets things. We especially love his "meow!" because we know that he observes the cats in my Dad's house and he really gets into the role play of being a cat!

Playing the game of making animal sounds:

• Helps Badger identify animal images (he has to know what the animal is before he can make the sound). 
• Helps him role play
• Makes it easier for him to identify the letters in the animal names
• Engages him in different aspects of learning about animals
• Expands his vocabulary and makes him curious about other animals and animal sounds
  

Badger Learns to Swim

By Justine C. Tajonera

Miraculously I watched my son swimming. My mouth was agape and I was speechless for about two minutes. This was all thanks to my husband.

It started with a near accident. Now that we've relocated to a condo with access to an indoor pool, we've been taking daily dips. On one occasion I was happily floating and didn't notice that my husband was doing a lap, leaving Badger standing at the edge of the pool. Vier later explained that he was confident Badger wouldn't do anything on his own because he knew how deep the water was. Contrary to this assumption, Badger thought I would catch him and jumped into the pool. Vier noticed this but he was at the other end of the pool. He never swam faster!

This was when he noticed that Badger didn't go under. He was kicking and flailing his arms for dear life, managing to keep his head above the water until Vier rushed to his rescue. Vier decided that Badger was ready to swim.

The next time we went swimming, Vier told Badger to swim to mommy. I was skeptical. But swim he did. He was able to cross three feet to me! I was amazed. He was crying by the time he reached me but he did it all on his own. I scolded Vier for possibly traumatizing him but Vier insisted that, with time, Badger would get used to it without all my "babying."

We've modified the activity by having him bring his toys (around 5 to 6 interlocking blocks) to the pool. I let the toys float a little farther away from him and he's motivated to swim and "rescue" his toys. It's absolutely amazing! It's like watching him take his first steps. He has good form: kicking feet, scooping arms (to get him to his destination). Not a breast stroke yet but on the way! He wasn't just dog paddling in place. He was swimming! And once he assembled his toys, he lost no time in getting absorbed in his imaginative play: transformers at sea or speed boats racing.

I guess when he gets older my joke to him will be: You learned to swim before you learned to go to the toilet! Haha! An athlete in the making.

Next challenge? Potty training!

(Dec. 28, 2009)


Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianauer/2599299352/

Getting Badger To Brush His Teeth: The Art Of Diversion

By Justine C. Tajonera

Vier and I bought this audio book, Talking To Toddlers, and we learned a lot from it but I had some difficulty putting it into practice, at first, because I was so used to dealing with Badger in a fixed sort of way. However, one night, one of the lessons on diversion really kicked in.

The Dreaded Temper Tantrum
Badger and I had our usual fight over brushing his teeth. I was pretty tense because Vier is usually the one who brushes Badger's teeth. However, that night, it was up to me. I tried cajoling him. I tried giving him options (do you want to brush with your yellow toothbrush or your Ironman toothbrush?), I tried getting mad but nothing worked. He ended up screaming at the top of his lungs (with the vein on his neck popping out). I was about to give up. He was already crying, which I really hate because I start getting soft on him when I see those big tears rolling down his cheeks.

Mommy's Best Actress Skills
And then the idea hit me. Why not use the lesson on diversion? In the audio lesson, it was explained that sometimes logic really won't work with young kids. So, the best thing you can do is divert them so that they don't focus on what they don't like. So, with all my "best actress" skills I exclaimed: "Oh my goodness! Badger! Are those ants in your mouth?" He stopped crying and looked positively shocked. He's scared of cockroaches. And now, ants, after one of them bit him."I think I see ants!" I went on. "Open your mouth wide so that Mommy can check." Immediately, he opened his mouth for inspection. "Ay naku," I said, shaking my head, "looks like there are cockroaches and ants in there.Tsk tsk! We have to take them out."


Finally, Cooperation
By this time, Badger was getting cooperative. "Take out ants," he demanded. "Okay, Mommy needs to brush your teeth to get the ants out, okay?" He nodded and opened his mouth wide. And that was the end of my ordeal. I made a big deal about how we were getting rid of all the ants in his mouth and he was happy to have them out of his mouth. In a way, brushing his teeth really is a way of getting rid of "bugs" and cavity-building plaque from his mouth. So, not only did he get to brush his teeth, we had fun doing it.

The Art Of Diversion In The Grocery
The art of diversion is fascinating. One other miraculous way it helped was when Badger had a temper tantrum in the grocery (the thing that parents absolutely hate). This time, it was Vier who took the lead. Badger insisted on getting a ball from the toy section and we really didn't have time for it. So, Badger started bawling and pulling us back towards the toy section. Vier then asked him, "Do you like that ball?" When Badger said yes, Vier kept asking him to describe the ball (like what color was it?, etc.) and engaged him in a conversation about the ball. By the time we were in another section of the grocery, they were busy exclaiming over blue colored cans (because Badger likes the color blue) and we were off the topic of the ball already. Thank goodness!

(Dec. 16, 2009)

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/aliedwards/522650932/

Badger's Ta-dah! and The Amazing Feat Of Self-Praise

By Justine C. Tajonera

I was so surprised to hear Badger exclaim, "ta-dah!" by himself, one day. Upon further investigation, I found out that he had lined up his cars neatly and had counted them successfully up to six. So it went like: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Ta-dah!" It was such a cute moment and so heartwarming to see him so proud of his own accomplishment.

Because of this behavior, I became interested in self-praise. I got to read an article by Michael Grose, a parenting educator and parent coach, on the impact of praise and found out that praise can be really great for a child's self-esteem. But, given all the hype about the wrong kind of praise, I was careful about what I read online. Looks like the article was spot-on, with emphasis on giving descriptive (or specific) praise, summary (or label) praise and encouraging self-praise.

Another article by Robert Hughes, Jr.,talks about how self-praise is very different from bragging. Bragging puts other kids or play mates down while self-praise is very specific to one's own behavior and how it has improved. It's one way your child can acknowledge that he is proud of himself (at no one's expense). 

Self-praise doesn't happen in a vacuum. Kids learn to praise themselves because their parents are also very encouraging. I'm happy that Badger is starting early.

(Dec. 14, 2009)

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/85278812@N00/3232401919

Free Play And My Transportation Obsessed Son

by Justine C. Tajonera

My son absolutely adores cars. He lines up his dad's Ferrari cars on the floor every night and counts them. Whenever he's riding the car with us he identifies all kinds of transportation on the road: car! motorcycle (pronounced motowsayel)! truck! taxi!

Once, while he was playing with his cars, he "borrowed" my USB with a wire and used it to put gas into each car. How ingenious was that?

Recently, I taught him that the traffic lights mean something: green means go and red means stop. So, every time we are at a stop light, our irrepressible son screams: GREEN MEANS GO! or RED MEANS STOP! It's hilarious!

It's amazing how our kids really have minds of their own. I really don't have any particular fascination for cars: they're pretty utilitarian for me. Vier likes cars but not really that much. A strange confluence of events (Vier's recent collection of Ferraris due to the Shell promo and our recent decision to acquire a motorcycle (to save gas) resulted in our son being obsessed over all kinds of transportation.

I've learned that feeding my son's natural passions makes him more animated and happy. He can just keep playing with his blocks and mounting them in his toy tractor for a long time. I don't "force" him to do what I want anymore. I wait for his cues and engage him in conversations about what he loves.

Image from http://www.public-domain-photos.com/free-cliparts/signs_and_symbols/other/traffic_light_green_dan__01-7254.htm